I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize