it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
