His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize