..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
