Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize