i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
