My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want to have your abortion
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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