areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize