Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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