Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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