It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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