everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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