In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
