oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
