It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you traded sex for a burrito?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
