i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
