I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
