im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
