My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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