He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
