No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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