I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
