yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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