WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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