I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
