her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
