Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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