I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
