so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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