No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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