woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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