You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
