She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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