I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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