For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
