There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
