she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
