i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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