I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Even my vagina gasped.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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