now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
