dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
