Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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