i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
