I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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