I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
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