Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize