it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
