just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
