And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
