everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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