I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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