i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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