forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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