bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
