he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Houston, we have a blender
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
