dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i think my cat just said my name.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
