All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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