i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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