what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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