so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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