3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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