I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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