Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
