Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
