oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
