Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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