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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Randomize
