i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
