My balls are so social today.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
