You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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