the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Randomize
