Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
