look no pants
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
